Story Time

As a result of my previous plan to have Audrina perform an act of kindness (reading to her brother, usually) instead of serving a time out, Audrina has learned that certain things make me happier. So, having decided not to wake me, she climbed into her brother's crib with a stack of books and had story time all by herself! I got to sleep in, and when I peeked into the kids' room, was delightfully surprised with an awesome display of sibling bonding. Some days, I just love being mom.

The Angry Void

Audrina has been acting out all week. Her new favorite thing to do is pee while in time out. I talked to the children's behavioral psychologist on Thursday about it, and apparently this, as well as a list of other possible choices for upsetting me, is all completely normal for such a major transition period.

Audrina is blaming us, and time outs have become somewhat useless. The psychologist told me to stand my ground and maintain the status quo for the household. Joy. I am hoping that this ends soon.

Boy Scout Kind of Girl

Our old apartment had blinds. Fortunately for us, the strings were generally too high to be a problem. I have purchased blind cord safety tabs to shorten the little nuisances, but apparently need to duct tape them together after putting them on. Audrina, sweet girl that she is, has demonstrated her knot tying skills several times this week.

I fear that the six inch long series of knots Audrina put into the blinds cords in her bedroom this week are an ill omen for the future of shoe tying lessons. Yes, I do believe I will continue buying my daughter velcro shoes until they stop making them in her size. The knots...you should have seen them. She actually managed a surgeons knot. At three and a half. Perhaps the boy scouts are a good idea for her. At least then she may limit the variety of knots in any one string item per demonstration of skill. Oy.

Archer was watching her rather enthusiastically, clapping and laughing. I shall never own Things With Strings ever again.

Dressy Dress Up Time

Last night, Harley and I were both working in the kitchen, preparing for the move. He was doing dishes, I was cleaning out cupboards. The living room was too quiet. When I went to investigate, I discovered that Audrina has dressed her brother...in her pretty pretty pink princess costume. After taking a few pictures, I rescued the poor boy. I think he ended up wearing every dress and tutu she owns. Not a happy baby!

Audrina: Future Real Estate Agent?

While I think both kids are a bit stressed about the move, and they have both been trying to make me lose my temper all week, Audrina has developed the extremely cute habit of giving tours to all of the potential renters viewing our apartment.

This is where you put your coats. You do not throw your coats in the living room. It makes mommy sad.

This is where you put your shoes so you do not make the house dirty.

This is my favorite truck. You can play with it if you want to, but you have to share nice.

This is mommy's kitchen. You need to ask before you go in there. Sometimes things are hot.

This is my dolly.

You have to see my room! I love my room! I have Tinkerbell.

I decided to just let her go with it. Anyone who doesn't think that my daughter is the cutest little salesgirl in the world is an asshole anyway and needs to suffer. Bob is showing the apartment again at five today. I am strongly considering video taping Audrina's "tour" de forceful.

Walkie Talkie

Archer and I had an entire conversation this morning. Not real words, of course. I was sitting down, and he toddled over, looked at me and said "Bah!" I responded with "urg" Archer parried with a "Blubb uss" which I met with "shhhh pop" and so on. For twenty minutes. When he lost interest. Either I have completely lost my mind, or I am the most fun ever.

Simm's Anatomy

Last night I was at work when I got a text from Harley. Audrina asked if he poops from where he pees. I had done a few little Q&As in how boys are different from girls, but apparently that particular conversation needs to have a full lesson plan. So now we have entered the age of fascination with physical differences. This week she has asked men about their penises, the neighbor about why she is black, and one woman if she was "a boy or a girl." She also told the neighbor girl that she "should go to her room to do that because it is not polite" when she saw Elizabeth (who is two) playing with her lady bits. I think I may require a script for the many directions this particular life lesson could take, primarily to avoid more awkward situations. Finally, my ability to overwhelm another human being with too much information has a useful purpose. I just know I am going to have an issue with her playing doctor.